Funny Dad Jokes

I cooked a medium rare steak for my friend and he said, “I like it well done.” I said, "Thanks, that means a lot."
I've been reading a horror novel in braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there. He said he couldn't complain.
My wife said I'm lacking empathy. I don't understand why she feels that way!
We lost our father after an accident, because we couldn't remember what blood type he had to tell the EMT. Dad kept screaming for us to "Be Positive", but it's really hard with him gone.
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."
The secret service doesn't yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they shout "Donald Duck!"
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