Funny Dad Jokes

I cooked a medium rare steak for my friend and he said, “I like it well done.” I said, "Thanks, that means a lot."
I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there. He said he couldn't complain.
The secret service doesn't yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they shout "Donald Duck!"
A cop left a nice note under my wipers to let me know I'd parked my car correctly. It said "parking fine".
I've been reading a horror novel in braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
My new sweater kept building up static and shocking people. So I exchanged it for another free of charge.
My wife said I'm lacking empathy. I don't understand why she feels that way!
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