Great Dad Jokes

I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection. She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
My wife told me to stop singing "I'm A Believer" or she'd kill me. I thought she was kidding. Then I saw her face...
My son told me he didn't understand cloning. I told him, "that makes two of us."
My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour. I said, "Wait, I can change!"
The Queen just knighted the first cow in history. His title is Sir Loin.
Never challenge death to a pillow fight. Unless you're prepared for the reaper cushions.
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor. I suppose it's probably a knight mare.
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