Great Dad Jokes

Why do we call childbirth delivery? Shouldn't it be takeout?
#652
Florida
Why did the fisherman stop hauling shellfish? Answer: He pulled a mussel
Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck? Because he was a neck-romancer.
A German tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?” He said "vet? I am completely soaking!"
Puns make numb. Math puns make me number.
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
I loaned my girlfriend $100 sometime soon after we met. After 3 years, when I broke up with her, she returned exactly $100. I guess I just lost interest in that relationship.
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