Great Dad Jokes

My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough. He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays, but in medieval times, people were called Lance a lot.
What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me.
Due to the quarantine, I'll only be telling inside jokes now.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time consuming, especially if you go back for seconds!
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing, but this was as close as I could get.
Why did the fisherman stop hauling shellfish? Answer: He pulled a mussel
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