Great Dad Jokes

The barber had just closed right when I got there. I didn't make the cut.
Did you hear about the viking Rudolph the Red? He looked outside and said it was going to rain. His wife asked, "What makes you say that?" He replied, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
The guy who stole my diary died today. My thoughts are with his family.
My deaf wife just told me that “we need to talk.” That was not a good sign...
I've been telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. I'm all about raisin awareness!
Did you guys hear they're changing the definition of a kilogram? It's a MASSive change.
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