Great Dad Jokes

I tried to start a group for guys with Erectile Dysfunction, but nobody was up for it.
My wife found out I was cheating after she found all the letters I was hiding. Now she won't play Scrabble with me anymore.
I’m trying to convince my wife to get me a Segway for my birthday, but every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor. I suppose it's probably a knight mare.
Mom used to feed me alphabet soup because she said I really liked it. I didn't though, she was just putting words in my mouth.
My friend couldn't afford his water bill. So I sent him a get well card.
Me: Did you steal my thesaurus? Horse: nope
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