Great Dad Jokes

I loaned my girlfriend $100 sometime soon after we met. After 3 years, when I broke up with her, she returned exactly $100. I guess I just lost interest in that relationship.

I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus from Amazon that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how disappointed I am.

Stalin should have known communism wouldn't work. I mean seriously, there were red flags everywhere!

I tried to explain to my son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. He still won't stop making fun of me though.

I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there. He said he couldn't complain.

Orion's Belt is a huge waist of space.

RIP boiling water. You shall be mist.