Great Dad Jokes

I think the decision to legalize marijuana was a joint effort made by high government officials.

Did you see Trump's State of the Union speech? Apparently Nancy Pelosi thought it was tearable.

I can't find my Gone In 60 Seconds DVD. It was here a minute ago...

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

I made a playlist for hiking. It's got music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. It's my trail mix.

My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.

The World Health Organization has declared that dogs cannot transmit the Corona Virus and should not be quarantined any longer. W.H.O Let the dogs out!