Great Dad Jokes

It's important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times. It could be a lifesaver.

I just spent a whole bunch of money on a limo only to find out it didn't include the driver. All that money, and nothing to chauffeur it.

Whoever invented the knock knock joke should get a no-bell prize!

I sleep with a bat under my bed. Just in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation.

Why did the communist only use lower case letters? They hate capitalism!

My son told me he didn't understand cloning. I told him, "that makes two of us."

I have a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words too!