Great Dad Jokes

My wife is mad that I keep introducing her as “my ex-girlfriend”

If your house doesn't have numbers on it, that's something you need to address.

Maybe aliens haven't visited yet because they looked up reviews on our solar system and only saw 1 star.

Remember when plastic surgery was taboo? Now if you mention Botox, no one even raises an eyebrow.

All these black hole articles just keep sucking me in!

People say filling your animals with helium is wrong. I say, whatever floats your goat.

Why do seals swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!