Great Dad Jokes

I couldn’t decide how much lettuce to buy, but my wife helped me think through it. Two heads are better than one.

Don't throw your tissue away there, its snot recyclable.

If two rival car dealerships had a shared parking area, they would have a lot in common.

At the grocery store: milk - check, eggs - check, tomatoes - check. Clerk: Sir, please stop writing separate checks for every single item.

Wanna know why bees stay in their hive for the winter? 'Swarm

What kind of tea do a King and Queen drink? Royal-tea!

What is a pirate's favorite musical note? The high C!