Great Dad Jokes

A semicolon broke the law; it was given two consecutive sentences.

Bullets are really weird because they only do their job after they’re fired.

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag's a big plus.

My wife called me apathetic, like I should care...

Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

What has two butts and kills people? An assassin.

The barber had just closed right when I got there. I didn't make the cut.