Great Dad Jokes

A guy tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need.

I just got fired from a job where I made six figures last year. They said I was the worst employee at the toy factory.

As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide isn't right for me?

If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion

Bullets are really weird because they only do their job after they’re fired.

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag's a big plus.

My wife called me apathetic, like I should care...