Great Dad Jokes

We lost our father after an accident, because we couldn't remember what blood type he had to tell the EMT. Dad kept screaming for us to "Be Positive", but it's really hard with him gone.

"Do you expect me to bleach?" "No, Mr Bond. I expect you to dye."

My doctor said I have a serious problem with vocalizing my emotions. I can't say that I'm surprised.

A mime broke is left arm in a bar fight and got arrested. He still has the right to remain silent.

Face is a four letter word, but preface is a foreword letter.

My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago. She just can't seem to let it go.

I think the girl at grocery store register likes me. She's always checking me out!