Great Dad Jokes

Took the shell off my racing snail today. Thought it might speed him up, but if anything, it made him more sluggish.

My doctor told me that my brain was forgetting everything about 80's music. When I asked him what The Cure was he seemed even more concerned!

I have to confess, this isn't my real hair. It's a toupee passed on to me from my dad. It's kind of a family hairloom.

At any given moment, the urge to sing, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.

What do you do if you are attacked by a group of clowns? Go for the juggler.

My wife said I'm lacking empathy. I don't understand why she feels that way!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.