Great Dad Jokes

Last night my wife and I watched two movies back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV.

They say Nietzsche was the father of existentialism but the Ancient Egyptians were the first nihilists.

I just signed up for my works 401k, though I'm not sure I can really run that far...

Why doesn't the sun go to college? It already has 27,000,000 degrees.

The people at the gym call me a fat loser. I'm glad they can see I'm putting in a lot of effort.

What do you call a small mother? A minimum.

Customs officers might not always agree with you, but they can see where you're coming from.