Great Dad Jokes

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory, I mean, all I did was take a day off.

My son is using a calculator, a spreadsheet, an abacus and a slide rule to work out 32/8...he's got a lot to answer four.

My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior. He was a danger to himself and udders.

Yesterday, I crossed a road, changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is turning into a joke.

Small babies may be delivered by a stork, but large babies are delivered by a crane.

Why are cannibals so angry? They're just fed up with people.

Last night my wife and I watched two movies back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV.