Great Dad Jokes

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."

Do you know what the least spoken language in the world is? Sign language!

My mailman got a sex change. I guess you'd call him a post-man now.

I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection. She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour. I said, "Wait, I can change!"

To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.

You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.