Great Dad Jokes

I just quit my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice!

Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.

I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.

I don't get how throw pillows are so expensive. They're a sham!

I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

I met a nun who always wiped her nose on her clothes. She had a nasty habit.

I have an ex who was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number. I wonder what she's up to now.