Great Dad Jokes

Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!” She is watching our wedding video again...
If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”, they get really ticked off.
To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.
The worst thing about driving for Uber is all the people talking behind your back.
Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine
Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message online...
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