Great Dad Jokes

For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office. I can't tell you how much this award means to me.

I recently sued the airline after they misplaced my luggage. I lost my case.

We all know where the Big Apple is, but does anyone know where the Minneapolis?

The line for beer at this party is terrible, but the punchline is even worse!

Do you guys remember when I told you about my spine issue? It was about a weak back.

What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.

A German tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?” He said "vet? I am completely soaking!"