Great Dad Jokes

I buy all my guns from a guy who calls himself "T-Rex." He's a small arms dealer.
Why don't cows wear flip flops? They lactose.
My wife doesn't think I'm handy enough to change out a light switch. Well she's in for a shock!
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows a bit high today. She looked surprised.
Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
My mailman got a sex change. I guess you'd call him a post-man now.
The barber had just closed right when I got there. I didn't make the cut.
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