Funny Dad Jokes

Broken bridges really annoy me. I just can't get over them!
Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "they're right behind you."
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!” She is watching our wedding video again...
Dad: *washing car with son* Son: Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?
My friend said they didn't understand cloning. I said, "that makes two of us."
Someone was shot with a starter pistol at the track. Police believe it was race related.
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