Funny Dad Jokes

I bought my daughter a locket and put her picture in it. Now she's independent.

You know what the leading cause of dry skin is? Towels.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Is it okay to peek into your neighbor’s house if you are still technically in your own property? Personally, I'm on the fence...

What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

There's someone in town that is going from store to store shoplifting clothes in order of size. Police believe they're still at large.

I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint. He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.