Funny Dad Jokes

I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present. It's a gift.

Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Me: "Why?" Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline..."

It's important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times. It could be a lifesaver.

When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. Then I was born.

I keep asking people what LGBTQ stands for, but I'm not getting any straight answers.

Why are fish easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales!

I was kidnapped by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.