Funny Dad Jokes

What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me.

We lost our father after an accident, because we couldn't remember what blood type he had to tell the EMT. Dad kept screaming for us to "Be Positive", but it's really hard with him gone.

Went to the store to get eight cans of sprite. When I got home, I realized I only picked seven up.

I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me old, and handed me his iPhone. Well, the spider is dead, but his phone screen is cracked now!

My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knee to test their reflexes. He really gets a kick out of it.

I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there.

You've never tried blind-folded archery? You don't know what you're missing!