Funny Dad Jokes

My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knee to test their reflexes. He really gets a kick out of it.

I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there.

We lost our father after an accident, because we couldn't remember what blood type he had to tell the EMT. Dad kept screaming for us to "Be Positive", but it's really hard with him gone.

I just got back from a blind date. I still have no idea why she brought her dog.

How did I get out of Iraq? Iran

We might be going snorkeling this weekend but I'm not holding my breath

A cop left a nice note under my wipers to let me know I'd parked my car correctly. It said "parking fine".