Funny Dad Jokes

We lost our father after an accident, because we couldn't remember what blood type he had to tell the EMT. Dad kept screaming for us to "Be Positive", but it's really hard with him gone.

Maybe aliens haven't visited yet because they looked up reviews on our solar system and only saw 1 star.

How did I get out of Iraq? Iran

Bad Hitler puns are inführeriating.

A cop left a nice note under my wipers to let me know I'd parked my car correctly. It said "parking fine".

I cooked a medium rare steak for my friend and he said, “I like it well done.” I said, "Thanks, that means a lot."

What does a panda use to make pancakes? A pan...duh...