Funny Dad Jokes

My grandfather keeps telling us that when he dies, we should try to convert his ashes into a diamond. That's a lot of pressure...

Shout out to old people. Otherwise they can't hear you.

My wife found out I was cheating after she found all the letters I was hiding. Now she won't play Scrabble with me anymore.

As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself... "This takes me back"

I got fired when I asked a customer if he preferred smoking or non smoking. Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial".

I can't find my Gone In 60 Seconds DVD. It was here a minute ago...

Are people born with a photographic memory? Or does it take time to develop?