Funny Dad Jokes

My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago. She just can't seem to let it go.

I buy all my guns from a guy who calls himself "T-Rex." He's a small arms dealer.

My wife said nothing rhymes with "orange". I said, no it doesn't...

I'd tell you a plane joke, but it'd just go over your head.

Captain Hook is single-handedly my favorite Disney villain.

I made a graph about my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two...