Funny Dad Jokes

As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "y'know, one would have been enough..."

Robber: “Give me all your money or you’re geography!” Teller: "Don't you mean history?" Robber: "Don't change the subject!"

The sitcom about airplanes never took off, because the pilot was terrible.

Why is it a bad idea to share your secrets with a clock? Time will tell.

I was gonna tell a time travel joke, but you didn't like it.

Apparently nobody knows why Notre Dame caught fire, but Quasimodo has a hunch...

My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour. I said, "Wait, I can change!"