Funny Dad Jokes

My deaf wife just told me that “we need to talk.” That was not a good sign...
I set my wifi password to 2444666668888888. That way when people ask for it, I tell them 12345678.
I went to the store the other day to by some camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.
I just got back from a blind date. I still have no idea why she brought her dog.
There is a new reality show where flat-earthers are trying to find the edge of the world. They'll be so disappointed when they get to the season finale and it's not a cliff-hanger.
We lost our father after an accident, because we couldn't remember what blood type he had to tell the EMT. Dad kept screaming for us to "Be Positive", but it's really hard with him gone.
We might be going snorkeling this weekend but I'm not holding my breath
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