Funny Dad Jokes

My buddy said he threw a stick 5 miles and his dog still managed to bring it back. Seems a little farfetched...

People say filling your animals with helium is wrong. I say, whatever floats your goat.

I accidentally drank invisible ink. I'm in the hospital now waiting to be seen.

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two

I lost another audio-book and now I'll never hear the end of it.

Bad Hitler puns are inführeriating.

The guy at the tuxedo store kept hovering around me, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, "Fine, suit yourself."