Funny Dad Jokes

I wanted to make sure I remembered everything about my time as a lumberjack, so I kept a log.

My deaf wife just told me that “we need to talk.” That was not a good sign...

The guy at the tuxedo store kept hovering around me, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, "Fine, suit yourself."

My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knee to test their reflexes. He really gets a kick out of it.

Why do ducks have feathers: to cover their butt-quack!

Maybe aliens haven't visited yet because they looked up reviews on our solar system and only saw 1 star.

I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there.