Funny Dad Jokes

My buddy said he threw a stick 5 miles and his dog still managed to bring it back. Seems a little farfetched...
People say filling your animals with helium is wrong. I say, whatever floats your goat.
I accidentally drank invisible ink. I'm in the hospital now waiting to be seen.
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two
I lost another audio-book and now I'll never hear the end of it.
Bad Hitler puns are inführeriating.
The guy at the tuxedo store kept hovering around me, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, "Fine, suit yourself."
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