Funny Dad Jokes

Bad Hitler puns are inführeriating.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.
I wanted to make sure I remembered everything about my time as a lumberjack, so I kept a log.
My deaf wife just told me that “we need to talk.” That was not a good sign...
The guy at the tuxedo store kept hovering around me, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, "Fine, suit yourself."
Why do ducks have feathers: to cover their butt-quack!
Maybe aliens haven't visited yet because they looked up reviews on our solar system and only saw 1 star.
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