Funny Dad Jokes

A cop left a nice note under my wipers to let me know I'd parked my car correctly. It said "parking fine".

My new sweater kept building up static and shocking people. So I exchanged it for another free of charge.

I bought a value laxative at the pharmacy. It gave me a good run for my money.

Why is it faster to steal second base than third base? Because there's a short stop between second and third.

Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas.

The only thing flat-earthers fear, is sphere itself.

You can't tell a pun to a kleptomaniac. They take everything literally.