Funny Dad Jokes

My buddy said he threw a stick 5 miles and his dog still managed to bring it back. Seems a little farfetched...

I accidentally drank invisible ink. I'm in the hospital now waiting to be seen.

People say filling your animals with helium is wrong. I say, whatever floats your goat.

I lost another audio-book and now I'll never hear the end of it.

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two

Bad Hitler puns are inführeriating.

The guy at the tuxedo store kept hovering around me, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, "Fine, suit yourself."