Funny Dad Jokes

I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying. I can also tell when they are standing.

A man with authority walks into a bar and orders everyone a round.

My wife didn’t think I would give our daughter a silly name, but I called her Bluff.

My earliest childhood memory is visiting the eye doctor and getting my first pair of glasses. Life before that was a blur.

Did you hear about the viking Rudolph the Red? He looked outside and said it was going to rain. His wife asked, "What makes you say that?" He replied, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

One time I paid $20 to see Prince in concert, but I partied like it's $19.99!

A mime was arrested after getting into a bar fight and breaking his left arm. He still has the right to remain silent.