Funny Dad Jokes

I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection. She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

I just spent a whole bunch of money on a limo only to find out it didn't include the driver. All that money, and nothing to chauffeur it.

I have been so bored without any sports due to COVID-19, so I have resorted to watching worms getting killed in my back yard by birds.... The Cardinals are leading the Blue Jays 5-3

My wife thinks I don't give her enough privacy. At least that's what she wrote in her diary.

Seven has "even" in it. That's odd...

Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas.

You know there's no official training for garbage men? They just pick things up as they go along.