Corny Dad Jokes

My car battery just quit working. I guess it had a terminal illness.

Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool. I lost the Rock's paper scissors.

A sheep dog tells her owner she found all fifty sheep. Her owner says that there should only be 46. The dog says, “but I rounded them up.”

Never tell a secret in a cornfield. There are too many ears...

The rate at which wood burns in a fireplace can be calculated with a log function.

I'm making a new documentary on how to fly a plane. We're currently filming the pilot.

Do you guys remember when I told you about my spine issue? It was about a weak back.