Corny Dad Jokes

My car battery just quit working. I guess it had a terminal illness.

Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool. I lost the Rock's paper scissors.

A sheep dog tells her owner she found all fifty sheep. Her owner says that there should only be 46. The dog says, “but I rounded them up.”

The rate at which wood burns in a fireplace can be calculated with a log function.

Please avoid using a website called Constipated.com It wouldn't let me log out!

My Wife is freaking out about the coronavirus. She made me promise I'd put the mask on before I left for work this morning. Now I'm two hours late and I'm not even a fan of Jim Carey.

Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.