Corny Dad Jokes

I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor. I suppose it's probably a knight mare.
After it’s spent a hard day protecting my phone I take my OtterBox off. I rest my case.
My friend couldn't afford his water bill. So I sent him a get well card.
Me: Did you steal my thesaurus? Horse: nope
My wife found out I was cheating after she found all the letters I was hiding. Now she won't play Scrabble with me anymore.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes. I watched it all unfold.
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