Corny Dad Jokes

Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have a pessimistic thought, I put a dollar in. It's currently half empty.
Velcro is such a rip-off...
I’m so upset! Someone stole my limbo stick! I mean, how low can you go?
Our puns are not juvenile. They are fully groan.
Did you hear about the two mummies who farted at the same time? They had a toot in common.
To all the people out there suffering with paranoia just remember, you're not alone.
What kind of fire leaves a room damp? A spitfire.
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