Corny Dad Jokes

What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.

The toilet has been stolen from the local police station. Police say they've got nothing to go on.

My wife refuses to go to karaoke with me. I have to duet alone.

I just got fired from a job where I made six figures last year. They said I was the worst employee at the toy factory.

If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.