Corny Dad Jokes

How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan? You take away their little brooms.

My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall, but it was his dumb asphalt.

When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.

I just quit my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice!

I don't get how throw pillows are so expensive. They're a sham!

I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

I saw a news article about corduroy pillows. They're making headlines!