Corny Dad Jokes

Why did the fisherman stop hauling shellfish? Answer: He pulled a mussel

What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me.

Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas.

The secret service doesn't yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they shout "Donald Duck!"

I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus from Amazon that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how disappointed I am.

My grandfather died because the report said he had Type-A blood. Unfortunately, it was a Type-O.

I tell dad jokes, but I don't have any kids. I'm a faux pa.