Corny Dad Jokes

My car battery just quit working. I guess it had a terminal illness.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, “If you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.” That's the punch line.
The Queen just knighted the first cow in history. His title is Sir Loin.
I love eye jokes. The cornea the better.
Where does the president keep his armies? In his sleevies.
My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior. He was a danger to himself and udders.
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