Corny Dad Jokes

What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog, it croaks every night!
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.
I’ll never give money to anyone collecting for a marathon. They just take the money and run.
A vegan told me people who sell meat are disgusting. I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
The Queen just knighted the first cow in history. His title is Sir Loin.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
Where does the president keep his armies? In his sleevies.
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