Corny Dad Jokes

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? "Breathe you idiot, breathe!"

What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet? I, I, R, and the 7 Cs.

I once met a drunk ventriloquist who I think wanted to hook up with me, but I wasn't sure if it was her or the beer talking.

I asked the judge to shorten my sentence and he interrupted me.

Why is being a dwarf not all that it is cracked up to be? Because 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy!

To the thief who stole all my cans of red bull, I don't know how you can sleep at night.

As a baby I was too large for the stork. I had to be delivered by a crane.