Corny Dad Jokes

My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour. I said, "Wait, I can change!"

Chickens like to draw, but a cock'll doodle, too.

For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office. I can't tell you how much this award means to me.

Why do nurses carry around red crayons? In case they have to draw blood!

I'm making a new documentary on how to fly a plane. We're currently filming the pilot.

Do you guys remember when I told you about my spine issue? It was about a weak back.

I loaned my girlfriend $100 sometime soon after we met. After 3 years, when I broke up with her, she returned exactly $100. I guess I just lost interest in that relationship.