Corny Dad Jokes

I cooked a medium rare steak for my friend and he said, “I like it well done.” I said, "Thanks, that means a lot."

Small babies may be delivered by a stork, but large babies are delivered by a crane.

Why are cannibals so angry? They're just fed up with people.

Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

Every time I wash my contacts in water my eyes sting horribly. I don't know what to do. If only there was a solution!

What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two...

I’m sick and tired of my wife constantly complaining about me sitting around doing nothing. I’m not going to stand for it.