Corny Dad Jokes

My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago. She just can't seem to let it go.
What does a house wear to a party? Address
The guy at the tuxedo store kept hovering around me, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, "Fine, suit yourself."
My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The rental was $50, and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars. That's inflation for you...
I asked the officer how the hackers escaped. He said, "No idea, they just ransomware."
We might be going snorkeling this weekend but I'm not holding my breath
There's something wrong with my touchscreen, but I can't put my finger on it.
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