Dad Jokes

My grandfather died because the report said he had Type-A blood. Unfortunately, it was a Type-O.

I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus from Amazon that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how disappointed I am.

To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.

A slice of apple pie is $2.75 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.

The secret service doesn't yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they shout "Donald Duck!"

If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”, they get really ticked off.