Dad Jokes

Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.

I just quit my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice!

I've been reading a horror novel in braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.

When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.

My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall, but it was his dumb asphalt.

Orion's Belt is a huge waist of space.

I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there. He said he couldn't complain.