Dad Jokes

You can't plant flowers if you haven't botany.

I saw a news article about corduroy pillows. They're making headlines!

A guy tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need.

I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

I don't get how throw pillows are so expensive. They're a sham!

I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought, "That's just spam."

I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.