Dad Jokes

Why don't cows wear flip flops? They lactose.
My archaeologist friend has been depressed lately. His life is really in ruins.
I googled cigarette lighter and got 11,700,00 matches. Now I don't need the lighter.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
I just got fired from a job where I made six figures last year. They said I was the worst employee at the toy factory.
My wife refuses to go to karaoke with me. I have to duet alone.
The toilet has been stolen from the local police station. Police say they've got nothing to go on.
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