Dad Jokes

I just deleted all German names off my phone, it's now hans free!

My drug dealer cracks me up. Seriously, he's not mething around!

If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion

Today, when my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?" I burst into tears... It's been so many years and he still doesn't know my actual name.

What happens when you combine a joke with a rhetorical question?

I just got back from a knife convention. Was great to see all the cutting edge technology!

My friend wanted to marry his English teacher when she got out of prison, but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.