Dad Jokes

So I knocked over a stack of glasses at the optometrist today & everyone turned around. I guess it was a spectacle.

Dad: *washing car with son* Son: Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?

What do you call someone who has ten ants? A landlord.

Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "they're right behind you."

It's muggy outside, but inside it's burglary.