Dad Jokes

I burned my Hawaiian pizza today. I should have cooked it at aloha temperature!

Want to hear my favorite politically incorrect joke? Benjamin Franklin was a great president.

My boss says they're going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch that it's gonna be me.

What has two butts and kills people? An assassin.

Every time I wash my contacts in water my eyes sting horribly. I don't know what to do. If only there was a solution!

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

Do you know what the least spoken language in the world is? Sign language!