Dad Jokes

What rock group has four guys that don't sing? Mt. Rushmore.

What's the temperature inside of a tauntaun? Luke warm.

To the thief who stole my antidepressants, I hope you're happy now.

Robber: “Give me all your money or you’re geography!” Teller: "Don't you mean history?" Robber: "Don't change the subject!"

I think I'm going to quit my job and to clean mirrors for a living. It's something I can see myself doing.

As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "y'know, one would have been enough..."

My bald surgeon is the most charismatic man I've ever met. He's a real smooth operator.